Mapping Memories
by PsychopathicDelirium
Summary: It's been 2 years since Haruhi disappeared without a trace,undetectable even by Kyouya's remarkable team. Finally fate gathered the Host Club once again, only to drag out Haruhi's reason. In the process of walking down memory lane, Kyouya struggles to keep himself in check. Tamaki can't help but let his feelings show. Haruhi has hushed secrets that she's unwilling to reveal.
1. Chapter 1

_Haruhi._

**A name that would always be remembered.**

"Haruhi!" Hunny jumped up and down at the sight of Haruhi making her way to their table.

**An existence that would never be forgotten.**

Kyouya Ootori glanced up and felt his pulse quicken. Her long hair grew, held back by a barrette and puberty did its job; her small waist unchanged, only to be met by curves. Her dress was simple and appealing.

Kaoru and Hikaru did a double take. Even Mori blushed quite a bit when he saw her.

Kyouyo observed all this, as well as her indifference to it all. He sighed; it was good that some things remained unchanged. He checked his watch. Tamaki was late.

Everyone masked their worry and anxiety well when they saw her, although their thoughts were clearly written all over their faces.

**_What happened to her for the past two years?_**

Fujioka Haruhi had suddenly disappeared a week after graduation, without a trace, without a word.

_Nothing._

Her records were wiped clean. It was as if she had never existed.

And suddenly, one day Hunny and Mori bumped into her while they were training in China. In their own odd way, they convinced her to attend this small reunion.

Part of Kyouya missed this troublesome bunch, but at the same time he silently wished that maybe Tamaki couldn't make it. His eyes looked at Haruhi up and down, taking her all in. Her brown orbs that brightened up when Hunny hugged her, her smile when Kaoru commented on her appearance and the faint blush on her cheeks when Mori said that she looked beautiful.

She looked like she was slightly underweight though. _Was it due to stress? Overload of work? Worry?_

He swallowed, nervous that he couldn't keep his composure.

_Him? Keeping his composure?_

He scoffed to himself. He was beyond excellent and talented at doing that. But he didn't anticipate Haruhi.

He nodded in acknowledgment when Haruhi looked at him and bowed. "Hi, Kyouya. It's been awhile."

_Yes._ He was worried that he would suddenly stand up, without thought, grab her hand and drag her away. He wanted to hide her, keep her to himself and indulge in her so that nobody else could. He wanted her all to himself. Kyouya wanted to make sure that she never disappeared on him like that again.

And he definitely didn't want her to yearn for someone other than him.

He wanted her.

"Hello people!" came a chirpy voice. Kyouya caught sight of a blonde and he understood that he could have never forsaken his friendship with Tamaki. Kyoukya grinned. Even if she yearned for Tamaki himself.

"It's good to see you, Tamaki."

Tamaki was about to burst into waves of happiness and chatter until he noticed Haruhi.

He was left speechless for awhile, then turned beat red. "H-Haruhi!"

Kyouya sighed.

_This was going to be a long evening._

* * *

><p>Haruhi was seated across from Tamaki and Kyouya, with the twins on either side.<p>

"It's been awhile huh?" Hikaru perked up. He dove into his sirloin steak like he hadn't eaten in weeks.

_Silence._

"Yeah," Hunny said.

Two years since Haruhi disappeared, thought Kyouya. It was a disappearance that even his top investigators and private military were incapable of tracking, one that shook the entire school and his life.

Haruhi forced a laugh. "Let's not indulge in depressing thoughts tonight. So what have you guys been up to?"

It was a polite question. She needn't even ask it in order for her to know the answer to it already. The host club post-graduation were top-notch in their respective fields, splattering the magazines, news and media with their every lifestyles, success, gossip and ground-breaking achievements.

"The more important question is," Kyouya spoke up resting his face on his palm while leaning against the table. "What have you been up to, Fujioka Haruhi?"

His eyes gazed at her intensely. Tamaki put down his fork. "Where have you been? Why didn't you contact us? Why couldn't we contact you? What happened?"

Haruhi looked away.

"That's why we're all here right? For you to spill the beans," Kaoru said.

"You at least owe us this much," Hikaru muttered, after swallowing a huge bit of the meat.

Haruhi took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

"Two years ago..." Haruhi's voice trailed on, lost in thought as she recollected the memories of the past.

They all waited until she started again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Two years ago...**

Ranka was sitting cross-legged in the living room, inserting Haruhi's graduation photos. Every once in a while, he would lift a picture and show it off to the picture of Haruhi's late mother. Grinning from ear-to-ear, he exclaimed how amazing Haruhi had grown up to be.

Haruhi was in the kitchen, preparing lunch and she heard it all.

She heard the pride in her father's voice, bragging about her achievements in academics, making friends as well as her active participation in charity. His shrill voice filled the whole house. But at the same time, she also heard a tinge of sadness & longing.

He, just as she did, had silently wished the impossible from time to time, that her mother was alive to see it all.

Haruhi smiled to herself.

_Mother in Heaven..._

The abrupt sound of the front door creaking open made Haruhi jump back. She was stunned to see a large dark figure stepping into the house, and without prior warning it grabbed her, placing a rough hand over her mouth, silencing her screams. But the plate that she was holding on to slipped and crashed onto the tiled floor, splattering into a hundred pieces and drawing the uncalled attention of her father.

Ranka immediately got up, at first shocked and speechless by the intruder, but he caught Haruhi's eyes filled with fear and his shock quickly turned into anger.

"How dare you touch her!" he screamed and ran towards the intruder. "Let her go!"

Everything else happened in a split second, so fast and unexpected that Haruhi didn't have time to blink. She saw from the corner of her eyes, as her intruder dragged her out the door, her father struggling to reach for her, his hands outstretched and reaching.

Just a bit more...

Instinctively she wanted to reach back, meet his hand in hers and everything would be alright.

_Oh, such naive thoughts they were._

Out of nowhere, came the sound like a dart hitting its mark, it was a sound without an echo, without warning.

She saw then her father stop dead in his tracks, his expression froze, and he looked not to be in fear or anger anymore, it was just... surprise. He looked down at himself, still puzzled & unable to comprehend what just happened, as if in denial that he couldn't save his own daughter.

_**And the blood...**_

Haruhi couldn't take her eyes off the blood. It spread out on her father's white shirt, like a pool of water on flat road, soaking the shirt, & the contrast was so clear.

Ranka fell to the ground, lifeless.

Haruhi wanted to scream, wanted to grab Ranka, hold on to him, save him, but her abductor stuffed her mouth with cloth, and her nose was filled with an unfamiliar smell.

She fought her eyes to stay open but went out cold.

* * *

><p><strong>This is what happened two years ago.<strong>

And Haruhi remembered all this, the memories so vivid as if she were walking through it all over again. She dreamt about it, waking up screaming and drenched in her own sweat. She sometimes heard her own father calling out, when she was alone.

When she shut her eyes, she saw the tall, faceless man, looming over her, ready to take her. And when she opened her eyes, she would look around her, searching for an escape.

This was the event that took place two years ago and was the start of her disappearance.

"Haruhi," Hunny said gently. "Is something wrong?"

Haruhi jumped back, coming back to reality. She looked around at the table, the six pairs of eyes, patiently waiting for her to speak up.

Haruhi wanted to tell them, her voice caught stuck in her throat. _This was the answer you wanted!_ She wanted to say. Yet, her mouth stayed closed. She'd open them, ready to say something, but would clamp it back shut, rethinking her decision.

"I just decided to disappear," Haruhi finally said, breaking the tense silence, hoping that they would believe her.

Hikaru dropped his fork. "What?!" he cried. "You decided?! What do you mean decided?" he cursed and called the waiter asking for another fork. Kaoru gave him a disapproving look.

Kyouya folded his arms and leaned back, upon hearing her answer.

Out of all the six fools that sat before Haruhi, she was most afraid of Hunny, Mori and Kyouya. They could smell a lie a mile away and could read the truth without you having to open your mouth. Haruhi looked down at her plate, food left untouched.

Tamaki reached out and touched her hand. "Haruhi, is that really true?"

Haruhi felt a million jolts surge throughout her body upon contact. She wanted to draw her hand back afraid of the comforting warmth, but as she tried to pull her hand away, Tamaki only gripped harder unwilling to let go.

Kyouya clenched his jaw and tightened his fists. Jealousy creaped in slowly. Anger remained hidden.

_Composure_, Kyouya, he mentally ordered himself.

Haruhi knew that if she told them, she'd never be able to step out of the restaurant without two body guards at her side from Kyouya's secret army with additional members from Hunny and Mori's clan with her. She'd be smothered by Tamaki's cries and worries, and her fears would soon become his. Kaoru and Hikaru would build a cage around her and have her life in their safety net.

She didn't want these consequences. In as much as she did appreciate their undying affection and care for her, she just didn't want to be a burden. Because that's all that she'd be to them.

She wanted her own freedom, one that she created on her own. She was independent as she had always been and she couldn't risk a single bit of dependency on another being for fear of not only their own safety, but also her own disappointment.

Then came in another soft voice in her head.

Haruhi took a deep breath. Hikaru was right though. She did owe them. She owed them the truth, but she couldnt't give it to them just yet. She wasn't ready. Even after two years, she hadn't uttered a word about what happened to anyone.

She was willing to reveal just a bit.

"I perhaps in some way consented to the disappearance," Haruhi said.

Hunny looked confused. Kaoru scowled at his vegetables.

"You're being politically correct," Kyouya retorted. "Stop beating around the bush."

Tamaki's eyes met Haruhi's, and she saw how his eyes were begging for some sort of explanation. He was hurt when she left, and he was probably the one who had fallen apart first upon her disappearance.

She couldn't break the eye contact. "I-I-...w-was..."

Maybe if she told them, she'd be able to recover from her wounds.

_She was caving in._

Maybe if she told them, they could help her, that perhaps she could get some bit of her old life back.

_Almost there._

They were after all her closest friends that she ever knew.

_Maybe..._

The benefit of the doubt edged and tugged the corner of her mind, steering her decision to a different direction.

She closed her eyes, ready to unveil it all, despite knowing the possible repercussions on her private life that would follow. Haruhi mustered her courage and mounted on her worst fears, ready to drive them off.

But she suddenly felt a presence behind her and a hand placed on her shoulder, startling her.

Haruhi's eyes immediately shot up, jumped out of her seat and clamped her own hands over mouth smothering her own scream. She almost fell back had not Tamaki stand up and grab her waist before she had the chance to fall.

Haruhi panicked and her breath quickened, inhaling and exhaling deeply, as if life was being sucked out of her.

"I'm sorry, miss," the waiter bowed."I didn't mean to startle you, but you dropped your purse."

Haruhi looked up. _It's just the waiter. Just the waiter..._

Tamaki put his arm around her and pulled her close. "Haruhi, are you alright?" He looked worried.

Haruhi pulled away. She received her purse, thanked the waiter and watched him walk away.

Images of the dark stranger flashed in her mind. The over-powering strength he had as he dragged her away, his overwhelming power as he seized her of her life and the unbearable feeling of helplessness when even her screams could not be heard. Her courage depleted and she shrunk back to her coward self. She swallowed down the words that stood at the tip of her tongue.

"I'm sorry guys, but maybe it's not the time for me to tell you," Haruhi fumbled with her purse and was going to leave. Her head was in disarray, confused and angry with herself.

_Why must she remember all that now?_

"Haruhi, we came a long way to hear your story," Kaoru spoke up. "All of us were genuinely worried about you."

"We tried looking for you," Hunny said.

Haruhi felt ashamed of herself. "Sorry, but I just... just can't..." She walked off, ready to flee the situation. She was bout to reach the exit, until Tamaki stood up, went after her and grabbed her arm. "Haruhi! We're here for you!"

Haruhi spun around, afraid.

"I was kidnapped!" Haruhi blurted, before she could think and stop herself.

The words that she swallowed down had crawled back to the tip of her tongue and had fallen out.


	3. Chapter 3

Haruhi quickly bit her tongue and instantly regretted it. She looked away, avoiding anyone's searching eyes. She shut her eyes, trying harder to block away the images that were again slowly invading her mind. She had tried so hard to shut all of these memories away, but today of all days, it somehow managed to crawl back out of the deepest corners of her mind.

"H-Haruhi," Tamaki stammered, struggling to digest her sudden outburst. "Oi, Haruhi. What are you talking about?"

Haruhi knew that just with just those three words her life now would take on a different course. It took only three words from her own lips for them to tense up and to shake the world.

Kyouya stood up and threw away his self-restraint and composure. He was done trying to hold himself back. He was taking off his mask.

He walked towards Haruhi and as he as he drew closer, he noticed that her entire body was trembling like a leaf. Kyouya took off his blazer and smoothly wrapped it around her, shielding her face and trembling self from everyone.

_So it's true. _

"Tamaki," Kyouya said, his voice hard and authoritative. "We're bringing her to my place. I'm to have the best guards surround my estate and I'd prefer to have two will never leave her side. But there are only so few that I even trust with my life, let alone Haruhi's. Mori, Hunny-senpai, I understand that both of you - "

Mori stood up. "Say no more, Kyouya," his deep voice rolled off his tongue. "I'll stay with her. Hunny has an important conference with United Nations the following weeks. He won't be available."

Hunny nodded his head in agreement.

If everyone was taken aback by his long speech, they didn't show it. For once, he spoke on behalf of Hunny. Kyouya eyes his intent suspiciously. He'd be in a pinch if Mori also developed feelings for her. He was already debating with himself whether he was willing to forsake his friendship with Tamaki for Haruhi. Kyouya turned to look at Haruhi who remained silent, her body calming down, and his eyes softened.

_Friendship?_

_Where were we all these years when Haruhi suffered?_

Kyouya felt ashamed of himself.

"Kaoru, Hikaru," Kyouya said. "See to it if you have any contacts in New York who has the 'entire package'."

Kaoru and Hikaru stood up and saluted to him. "Aye, Sir!" The entire package meant a new place, new identity, a job and most importantly, security. A term, they had specially coined whenever Kyouya headed somewhere else in search for Haruhi. He'd occasionally search for her whenever he had the chance and he'd prefer to do it in secrecy. His business competitors, not to mention his enemies who were out for his blood would have a field day is they found out any of his weaknesses, whatever they could get their hands on.

Now, Kyouya's biggest weakness was standing right in front of him. And he didn't want her to get away.

"Haruhi," Kyouya said gently. "Let's go."

Haruhi snapped back to reality and winced at his reaching hand. "It's fine. I'll be okay by myself. I've been alright for the past – " She started, like she had rehearsed the answer before.

"Haruhi," Tamaki cut her off before Kyouya could. He ran his fingers through his hair. "You were supposed to rely on us. We're your friends."

"I know you are. All of you are my friends," Haruhi replied, softly. "It was because of that, that I didn't want to tell you."

Hikaru made his way towards Haruhi and grabbed her by her shoulders. "Bul$*it! We're so angry right now that you didn't depend on us! That's what friends are for!"

"Hi. Ka. Ru," Kyouya said darkly. "**Let. Her. Go**."

Hikaru did and he scratched his head with frustration. "It was just like at the beach. Dammit!" Hikaru cursed.

Kyouya wrapped his arms around Haruhi. "We're leaving now." Kyouya took out his phone with one hand and pressed speed dial, muttered a few orders and guided Haruhi out of the restaurant. "Haruhi," Kyouya said softly. "You're going to be alright." Kyouya was going to make sure of it.

* * *

><p>Haruhi squeezed in between Kyouya and Mori, in a car dead with silence. The air in the back was tense and an unspoken question was left dangling in the air, just waiting for to be spoken. Haruhi knew this. She wasn't dumb, but she was hesitant on revealing everything to them. She wanted them to know because she understood that they had a right to know.<p>

Information was valuable and meaningful when it had the ability to quench one's thirst for an answer to a question. The answer itself may have negative consequences, but the mind, the heart are finally on par with the end objective of quenching this thirst. The body would listen and thrive to exert efforts to relinquish one of the heavy burden of curiosity that was both a source of motivation and also an anchor to one's emotions.

This curiosity can **_consume_** you.

Haruhi glanced at Kyouya. He looked like a person that would allow such curiosity to consume him, especially if there lay material benefits ahead. But Haruhi also understood that Kyouya had an inherent kindness that he shielded from others. If Kyouya revealed to others that he even had basic morales, he would be taken advantage of, perceived as naïve and incompetent in the capitalistic world of business.

What intrigued Haruhi was the active effort that Kyouya was willing to exert to ensure her safety. Was there a hidden moral stance in these actions? Were there material benefits that lay ahead if he successfully solved the mystery of her disappearance?

_No, it was probably just curiosity._

Haruhi was content with her own musings and conclusion.

Kyouya glanced at Haruhi and caught her staring at him intensely. He raised an eyebrow. Haruhi blushed and quickly looked away. Haruhi cleared her throat.

"How much further until we get there?" she asked breaking the silence.

Kyouya hid a smirk. She blushed. Oh, what a cute blush it was. He stole a glance at her again and saw that her cheeks were still a shade of light pink. Kyouya enjoyed having this effect on her and thought of the possible coming days where he'd enjoy trying to find ways to make her blush again.

The mere thought of these plans excited him.

_He couldn't wait._

"We're almost there," Kyouya said. "I had the driver take us to a different route in case someone was following us."

"Haruhi," Mori spoke up. "Once the car stops, I want you to wring your arms around my neck."

Kyouya opened his mouth to protest, but thought better of it. It was probably for her safety after all.

Probably.

"I don't think that's necessary," Haruhi said.

Mori didn't reply; he just looked at her, his eyes darkening, as if he was rejecting any form of protest from her.

Haruhi sighed. "Okay." Mori's cold expression changed instantly to one of relief.

"I'll carry you inside," he said curtly.

The car came to a halt. Haruhi took a deep breath and reached up to put her arms around Mori's neck, the blazer still covering her head and body. In the midst of her inhaling, she took in the scent of his cologne. It smelled like… _him_. Haruhi wrapped her arms around his neck tighter, careful not to fall, as he lifted her body effortlessly when he stepped out of the car. Kyouya followed behind.

"You smell nice," Haruhi mumbled.

Haruhi couldn't see the expression on his face, shielded by Kyouya's blazer. Mori let slip a small smile.

_So do you,_ he thought silently to himself, allowing himself to take in Haruhi's warmth as her arms touched his bare neck, and breathed in her mild scent of vanilla and strawberries.

They stepped into the house, with one of Kyouya's guards shutting the door behind them. Kyouya stared at Mori's tall frame, his blank expression and the fact that he was still holding on to her even when they were safe inside his house.

"Mori, I think it's safe to put Haruhi down now," Kyouya said, trying again to mask his jealousy.

"I'll carry her to the guest room," Mori said.

Kyouya took his turn to glare at Mori. Kyouya's initial plan was for Haruhi to sleep in the room next to his, until he remembered that he had remodelled the house to ensure that there was a good distance between his room and anyone else's. Kyouya made a mental note to renovate his house again.

"I don't think that's necessary, Mori-senpai," Haruhi spoke up. She squirmed in Mori's arms trying to get free.

Mori gently placed her on her feet. "As you say," he said.

Kyouya quietly rejoiced at her stubbornness.

Haruhi took of Kyouya's blazer and handed it back to Kyouya. "Thank you," Haruhi politely said. "So, urm... where is the guest room? I suppose from this point on, I don't have much of a say in my daily routine or life anymore?"

Kyouya shifted uncomfortably, understanding very well that Haruhi wouldn't be pleased with idea of her freedom being restricted. "Until we catch the culprit," he answered shortly. _And who knows when that will be?_

Haruhi sighed.

Kyouya started ascending the majestic staircase. "Come Haruhi. I'll show you to your guest room."


	4. Chapter 4

Haruhi basked in the bathtub, soaking in the warm water. She drown out the images of what had happened that day and the coming days that followed. She remembered the fear, the terror and the constant horrifying thoughts of trying to take her own life.

She supposed that the others would want to know this too. "Was it necessary though?" Haruhi mused. "it's over now. They needn't know."

Haruhi stepped out of the bath, grabbed a clean towel from the rail and wrapped it around her body. She exited the bathroom, to find a pair of clean clothes spread out on her bed, or rather, Kyouya's bed.

She sighed again. Her over protective friends sure lived up to their name. She still wasn't sure whether or not she was grateful for that.

Haruhi quickly dressed and crawled under the sheets of the large bed. She looked at it. It couldn't be a king-sized bed. It was far too big! Kyouya must have ordered a customized his bed. Haruhi smiled. That sounded like him. He deeply valued his own sleep. She heard a small knock on the door.

"Haruhi," Kyouya said. "Are you done?"

"You may come in."

Kyouya opened the door and walked in with Mori right behind him. "We're sleeping with you," Kyouya said with finality.

Haruhi's jaw dropped. Yes, they definitely lived up to their overprotective and overbearing titles. Haruhi narrowed her eyes.

"What. Did. You. Say?" she seethed. She had better misheard them.

Kyouya coughed, blushing slightly. "We're sleeping next to you," he rephrased.

Haruhi folded her arms stubbornly. "No. I'll be fine –. Mori!"

Mori walked past Kyouya lifted the comforter and scooted right in. Mori shamelessly snuggled closer to Haruhi.

"Sleep," he said and closed his eyes.

Kyouya's jaw dropped just as Haruhi's had. This guy moves fast!

Kyouya quickly ducked under the covers on the other side of the bed. "Sleep," he repeated.

Haruhi threw her hands up. "Well, thank you for asking me nicely," she said, sarcastically.

Kyouya peeked at her from under the covers, watched as she muttered incoherent words before sliding back under the covers.

"Good night, Haruhi," Kyouya whispered, thinking that she didn't hear him.

Haruhi turned her body to face him, her nose barely centimeters away from his face. "Goodnight, Kyouya." Haruhi closed her eyes and snuggled in deeper.

Kyouya's eyes shot open, and then silently groaned. He'd never get any sleep like this almost regretting his decision. He heard her breathing get even and a soft snore from under the covers. A small smile made its way on his face. Almost.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Kyouya woke up feeling empty, as if something was missing something. His hands involuntarily searched for something or someone that was supposed to be there. It felt cold. He groaned and sat up. He racked his brain trying to remember what had happened last night.<p>

His ears perked up when he heard soft chatter and laughter from outside the room.

_Haruhi. _

Kyouya scrambled out of bed and rushed out, almost running to the kitchen. He found Haruhi sitting on the kitchen island munching on churros, with Mori sitting on a kitchen stool, sipping tea. Her head snapped as she turned her head catching his gaze on her under dressed state.

"Why aren't you wearing pants?" Kyouya demanded.

"Good morning to you too, Kyouya."

Kyouya yelled for his maid and she came running in seconds later. Kyouya started yelling at her for decent clothes for Haruhi and he wanted them pronto.

Haruhi raised an eyebrow and continued to munch on the churros. "You don't have to yell at her. I'm wearing shorts which are pants that are decent enough."

**Like hell they are.**

Kyouya narrowed his eyes, making a mental note that when his maid gets clothes for Haruhi, bloody shorts would definitely not be on the list.

Mori eyed him wearily. He was making his feelings more obvious. He supposed it was attributed to the fact that the few seconds that took place after Kyouya woke up, had his defences down. Mori was quite amused with this side of Kyouya.

"I need to go to work," Haruhi said, jumping off the counter and swallowed the remainder of her churros. Mori was quick to grab her arm before Kyouya had a chance to speak up. He was, after all, faster on his feet and reflexes than he was with words.

"No. Stay in," Mori said. Three words. He could only manage three words because he was starting to turn beet red from holding back her arm.

Haruhi pursed her lips and scowled. "I need to garner income for myself."

_in actuality, she just needed a distraction._

"We haven't solved the mystery. And you have not spilled on anything besides raising the alarm that you have been kidnapped," Kyouya spoke up.

_She needed time to herself, to figure things out_.

"I knew I should have bugged your house," Haruhi heard him mutter under his breath.

_Maybe he should have,_ Haruhi thought bitterly.

"I need to get to work," Haruhi protested. Mori let go of her hand and rubbed his thumb with his index finger, as if he had touched something sacred and he needed to savour that touch. Mori looked at his own fingers curiously.

"Which reminds me... what is your occupation?" Kyouya asked suspiciously, eyeing Mori from the corner of his eye.

Haruhi fidgeted with her fingers. "I can't tell you that," she said hesitantly.

Mori stopped observing his own fingers and glanced at Haruhi.

"And why not?" Kyouya demanded.

Haruhi mumbled something and started to edge her way out of the kitchen, hoping that they wouldn't notice her leaving. This time, Kyouya grabbed on to her. He needed this information if he wanted to put the pieces of this mystery together, or rather if he wanted to put pieces of this now mysterious Haruhi together. He wanted to figure her out.

Haruhi sighed. "Just give me a laptop and I'll do my work here," she said.

Kyouya frowned realising that extracting information out of Haruhi was going to be difficult. But at least he had a hint of what she was doing. She could work from home. This was a conceded possibility. Inwardly he sighed in relief, his worst fears banished of that she was perhaps working in the black market of some sort.


	5. Chapter 5

Kyouya and Mori's phone started ringing at the same time. Kyouya knew who it was before he answered the phone. He hesitated before pressing the green button that appeared on the screen.

"Souo," he said in a business-like tone.

Mori didn't say anything when he answered his phone, remained expressionless when he hung up and slipped his phone back in his pocket. He remained silent as he exited the kitchen. Kyouya watched his tall frame leave the kitchen to go who-knows-where.

"We're in the back." _Click._

Kyouya pocketed his phone and told one of his bodyguards to allow the others to enter. He knew that Tamaki wasn't alone. The Hitachiin twins would most probably be with him, tagging along.

_Like old times._

He braced himself for trouble for when those three were together, trouble was a result of their composition.

Kyouya eyed the basket of churros that the chef had made and left on the kitchen island. He knew it was one of Haruhi's favourite snacks and had readily prepared a list of food that the chef was to prepare during her stay. And for none other than obvious reasons, ootoro was definitely on that list.

Kyouya picked a churro from the basket and took a bite. A small smile crept on is face, comforted with the fact that he found Haruhi munching happily on the churros when he found her in the kitchen. It felt like he achieved something great.

_It was the small things. _

"Morning, Ootori!" Tamaki clapped his hands on Kyouya's back, muddling his morning musings.

Kyouya turned around to find Hikaru and Kaoru sauntering in, eyes looking around for any traces of Haruhi.

They were all here for one reason.

"Where's Haruhi?" Hikaru asked immediately, leaning against the counter.

"Bathroom upstairs, third door to your left from the stairs at the main entrance," Kyouya curtly said and dusted the crumbs off his shirt.

Tamaki looked unsure as gazed at the basket of churros. He knew is it was one of Haruhi's favourites.

"How was she when you guys came back?" Kyouya asked concerned.

"She slept," Kyouya answered shortly omitting the fact that he and Mori slept next to her.

"We're not sure how to approach this," Tamaki admitted. "It's a very delicate matter."

This took Kyouya and the twins by surprise.

It was usually Tamaki who was the brilliant genius that conjured the most creative ideas and solutions to their problems. Kyouya was the executioner. and the twins, well... they were still indispensable.

But this time around, everyone seemed to be at a loss, not knowing what to do. Haruhi's shocking outburst may have had them provide immediate protection, but these were only short term solutions. They knew this but with the sudden revelation, it had also stunned them in their places, froze them from their constant cogitations as to their hypothesis on Haruhi's disappearance. Because in all their possible theories, a kidnapping that took place two years ago that was responsible for her disappearance was not one of them.

"I guess, as of now we just need to be there for Haruhi," Tamaki said out loud. "Until we find a solution."

Kyouya nodded in agreement.

"Let's go see Haruhi," Hikaru said impatiently. Kyouya told them to go ahead.

"Something urgent has come up," he lied.

They left him in the kitchen.

Kyouya would see her but he had a few things to settle beforehand. Kyouya decided that he needed to make a few international calls before he was willing to hear answers from Haruhi. He needed to prepare himself for what she would have to say.

He needed assurance that he had done everything within his limited capacity to make sure that he had done _enough_ for Haruhi in ensuring that she was safe.

He felt guilt weighing him down with every step as he paced slowly to his office because inasmuch as he tried to convince himself that this was for Haruhi, in truth, as he swallowed down his guilt that it was more for himself.

He didn't need assurance.

**No. **

He needed _validation._

* * *

><p>Haruhi was supposed to change her clothes. The maid had kindly brought her clothes to the bathroom where she was required to, no, compelled to change to a more decent attire.<p>

Haruhi eyed the jeans and large sweater wearily. She didn't even have a say in her style anymore. Haruhi delayed changing. She needed time. She sat down on the bathroom floor, reveling in the silence. It was the only moments of silence that she would get before she would open the door to chaos again. She leaned against the bathroom wall and wondered again, for the millionth time since yesterday whether it was the right choice to make.

She brought her knees up to her chest and buried her face.

They would probably get tired of her at one point, she half-hoped. But the thought of that possibility also left a sunken feeling of disappointment in the pit of her stomach. If they left her because they grew tiresome of having to baby-sit her, then she truly would be alone.

And she would be in a more terrible state than she was when she had shaken herself from after the incident two years ago. Because what saved her more than anything else was the desire to be worthy of their eyes, their admiration when they looked at her, and more importantly to be worthy of their friendship.

Even now, she wondered what they saw in her when they saw her in this state.

_Did they think her broken, she need fixing, she needed more than what she had now?_

No, she made sure she had put on a brave face. They couldn't see anything beyond that mask.

A sudden knock on the bathroom door startled her from her daydreaming.

She quickly stood up and grabbed the clothes that were on the bathroom counter.

"Give me a minute."

A few seconds later, she opened the bathroom door and was met with Tamaki's anxious and panic-stricken face. Behind Tamaki were the twins. Hikaru was shifting his weight from one leg to another, undecided how he would carry himself in front of Haruhi. It was an internal struggle, one that Haruhi clearly saw through.

_Yes. Chaos all over again. _

"Good morning," she said brightly.

Tamaki saw the shorts in her hands and gasped. "You wore shorts just now?!" he cried in disbelief. He glanced around trying to find Kyouya, to demand an explanation from him.

"Did he forget to give you clothes or something?" Hikaru asked frowning, this voice laced with sarcasm and sass.

Shorts were clothes, thought Haruhi.

"Have you guys had breakfast?" Haruhi spoke up trying to change the subject.

"Breakfast can wait," Kaoru said. Haruhi looked at him. Trust him to be the straight-forward and the reasonable person. She knew why they were all here.

_They wanted answers._

"No it can't. You guys must be hungry." Haruhi was stalling. She knew it and she knew with the way the others were watching her every move, observing her like a hawk, they knew it too.

"We came –" Hikaru started.

"We'll have breakfast," Tamaki interrupted.

Haruhi nodded and proceeded to the kitchen. She gulped down the rising bile in her throat.

**Answers.**

Answers that she, at the moment, was just not ready to give.

**Time.**

**She needed time.**

_**Please, just give me more time.**_

_**Mother in Heaven,**_

**_I just need more time. _**


End file.
